


Odd One Out

by westernsunset



Category: Tortall - Tamora Pierce
Genre: Gen, and gay lindhall, lindhall reed is a twink and i know people are not ready to hear that but it is true, more gay raoul
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-28 06:33:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17177735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westernsunset/pseuds/westernsunset
Summary: Raoul runs into Lindhall in an unexpected place and tries to forge a better friendship.--written for the fief goldenlake prompt "Odd One Out" because I am very bad with titles.





	Odd One Out

Raoul wasn’t surprised to run into Lindhall at the Cove, a seedy bar by the wharf where men like him went to find companionship. Of everyone in the palace, the thin mage with soft voice and sensitive eyes garnered the most whispers about his lack of a wife. And Raoul, more than anyone, knew that sometimes gossip was true. 

It was why he’d been keeping his distance since Lindhall had arrived at court, irrationally fearing that an association with the mage would confirm all the suspicions about Raoul himself that were constantly swirling around court.

The two locked eyes, and Lindhall nodded slightly and turned back to his drink. Raoul fought with himself. Maybe Lindhall also wanted to be left alone. Maybe he would be offended that Raoul only wanted to talk to him when no one from the palace could see them. Maybe Lindhall would be offended if Raoul didn’t talk to him. Just as his head was starting to hurt, he felt a strong hand on his arm.

“Roman!” Abe, one of the men Raoul had gotten to know clapped him on the arm. “It’s been too long!”

Raoul turned away from looking at Lindhall to say hello to Abe. When he turned back again, he saw Lindhall in conversation with someone else, so he let it go, but promised himself he’d seek out Lindhall next time he could.

—

Always busy, Raoul didn’t have a chance to see Lindhall for a month or so. When they finally ran into each other, Lindhall was leaving the royal chambers and Raoul was entering.

“Lindhall!” Raoul said, his voice a little too loud. “Stay close, I’ll only be a minute and I want to talk to you.” He did his best to sound friendly and non-threatening, which was hard when he was demanding Lindhall stay nearby for the promise of only a conversation. Lindhall raised his eyebrows, but just said “of course, I’ll be here.”

Raoul dropped off some papers with Gary’s new squire (capable, that one, clearly excited to be in the more boring bits of service) and came back to Lindhall in the corridor.

“Sorry about that, would you like to…” here, Raoul trailed off, not knowing what was the proper thing to do. Would it be presumptuous to invite Lindhall to his chambers? He just wanted to talk, but he didn’t necessarily want to talk in the open. But he didn’t want to give him the wrong idea.

“I’m not going to say anything, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Lindhall said, his light voice quieter than ever.

“No it’s—well I’m glad for that but I just realized I uh, well I haven’t,” Raoul rubbed his face and took a deep breath. “I never extended a welcome to you. It was uncharitable of me and I apologize.”

Lindhall looked even more puzzled. “I didn’t necessarily expect a welcome, my Lord. As far as I’m concerned you haven’t been uncharitable in any way.”

“I was afraid—you know, is there another place we can talk?” Raoul said. “I’m not the most articulate in—”

“I have a lovely greenhouse,” Lindhall cut Raoul off. “We could walk there and talk while I do some work, if it’s not too much trouble?”

“No trouble at all,” Raoul said, a little relieved. “Lead the way.”

Lindhall led him to the greenhouse, shutting the door behind him and lighting some candles manually. Raoul had been in before, to see the wide variety of creatures from realms outside of Tortall and marvel at Lindhall’s skill for caring for them. He’d never been in at night though, and found the long shadows the candles cast lent a eerie feel to the glass building. 

It took several moments of Lindhall busily gathering up gardening tools for Raoul to realize the other man was waiting for him to talk. Not trying to pressure him at all, but clearly waiting for Raoul to start the conversation.

“I just wanted to apologize for not being more welcoming,” Raoul had practiced his apology several times over the last few weeks.

Lindhall looked taken aback. “My Lord—”

“Raoul.”

“What?”

“You don’t have to use titles, just Raoul is fine.”

“Raoul, then. Truly, I didn’t much expect a welcome from anyone, not to mention the commander of the Own. I’m not hurt, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“You were beneficial to us in the Immortals War and I should have made time to find you and say thank you. I was my own failing that I was too afraid to even approach you.”

A ghost of a shadow crossed Lindhall’s face, but he didn’t say anything. 

“It came from an ugly place, where I feared associations with you would lead to more gossip about me. As a result, I was more distant than I should have been, and I’m sorry for that. I shouldn’t have let court rumors and my own fear stop me from being courteous,” Raoul said.

“Well that’s…” Lindhall’s back was to Raoul and he appeared very focused on pruning a flower bush. “I guess I don’t know how to respond to that.” Another pause. Raoul got the sense that Lindhall was a person who wouldn’t say much if he didn’t have to, and Raoul wanted to leave him an opening.

“I have always wondered if people felt that way, if they were avoiding association with me,” Lindhall said finally. “It’s hard not to resent people when you feel they’re doing that.”

“I imagine,” Raoul responded.

“I have to say though, it didn’t even cross my mind that you were avoiding me, and I certainly wouldn’t have thought you were avoiding me because you were worried people might realize you…well, spent time at the Cove.”

“You may be the only one in the palace then,” Raoul laughed.

“Well you know, no one really puts stock in those rumors. Not really,” Lindhall said.

“That’s kind of you to say.”

“I’m not being kind, I’m being accurate,” Lindhall bent over to water a plant. “It’s just not something anyone believes.”

Raoul opened his mouth to speak, but Lindhall cut him off. “Forgive me for speaking out of turn, but people only say anything about you because they think it’s the worst thing you can say about a man. They don’t actually think it’s true.”

He sensed what Lindhall was trying to say. “That’s not the case for you.”

Lindhall smiled softly. “No, not so much.”

The two men walked in silence for awhile. “Where did you grow up?” Raoul asked finally.

“Sarin, in the far north of the country,” Lindhall replied. “I’d ask you the same but—”

“It’s in the name, I know,” Raoul smiled. 

Lindhall chuckled lightly. “I did enjoy Goldenlake when I passed through. A secluded fief though.”

“Very. Corus was a shock to the system.”

“Did anyone ever give you trouble? You know for…”

Raoul knew what he meant, and more than that, started to see what Lindhall was talking about when he said the rumors were to hurt Raoul, not to discuss truth. “I was a head taller and somewhat heavier than all the other boys, I don’t think anyone even suspected.”

“And when you came to the palace?”

“The same. I’d known Jon for fifteen years before I finally told him. He just thought I had very high standards.”

Lindhall nodded, as if Raoul had confirmed something for him. And in a sense, Raoul supposed he had.

“And you? Was it tough?”

Lindhall gave a soft smile. “I didn’t used to be this tall. I was an easy target. And I don’t know how, but the other boys could sense it.”

“They knew?”

“Everyone always knew it,” Lindhall said, matter-of-factly. “At a certain point all the talk ceased to become taunting and was just more a statement of facts.”

“And you knew?” Raoul said.

Another wry smile. “I knew I was different, I knew everyone else thought I was different. I didn’t know what any of that meant until I was a little older.”

“They can’t be too friendly about that in Carthak.”

“On the contrary!” Lindhall said, with genuine surprise. “It’s far more accepted there, that’s one of the few things I miss since I’ve come to Tortall.”

“Really?” Raoul was genuinely shocked, not knowing much about Carthak’s social norms.

“The professor of medicines at the university was married to a man as one would be to a woman,” Lindhall seemed surprised Raoul didn’t know this.

Raoul’s mouth fell open. “Wha—I know the Emperor was a tyrant and there’s slavery there but…that kind of acceptance? It’s enough to make a man want to live in Carthak!”

“It certainly helped me stay for so long! You didn’t have to relegate yourself to wharf taverns to find people. You could even take a man to a nice eating house from time to time. You still had to be careful but at least you could be out in public.”

Raoul whistled. “I can’t offer anything like that. But every Midwinter, I host a series of small gatherings, just friends and mostly people I trust. I’d love if you would join us some night.”

“I’d like that,” Lindhall smiled. “I don’t enjoy the large parties. I always find myself feeling out of place, too many people to talk to, too much noise.”

“The noise I don’t mind, it’s the ladies that come courting!”

“I guess that’s the perk of being so obvious, I won’t be set up with any women,” Lindall said.

Raoul laughed. “Watch what you say! The better known you become for your menagerie, the more matchmakers will be after you with someone you just have to meet.”

Lindhall shuddered. “Well I hope the ladies I’ll be paired with enjoy talk of birds. Or maybe I could talk about snakes and reptiles? Scare people off?”

“That would scare me off. I don’t like snakes at all.” It was Raoul’s turn to shudder.

Lindhall lit up. “Oh, I have just the girl to change your mind. Belinda is a corn snake, very friendly, I think you’ll love each other.”

Before Raoul could explain that his fear of snakes was nearly crippling, Lindhall was off to one of his windowed cages, coaxing a snake into his hand in a soft, soothing voice. Raoul smiled, and decided to grin and bear it so as to not insult his new friend.

**Author's Note:**

> Raoul is obviously a bear and if you want more of my opinions on Tortall character's gay categories, you can find me on tumblr at nevertobecaught


End file.
